My Inner Dialogue Featured Image PC Tucker Ballister

My Inner Dialogue

Originally Published in February of 2016

I can’t wait for spring and summer. Springs means graduation. Spring means freedom. Summer means exploration. Self-exploration. Nature exploration. Exploration of the people and world around me, both near and far. I really don’t think I could be much more jazzed about it. I also couldn’t be much more scared. And that’s why I think it’s so important for me to listen to my inner dialogue in these moments. 

Spring means the end of using school as an excuse not to have a real job. Spring means the onset of student loan payments and more societal pressure to find a ‘career’. Summer is my opportunity to decompress and think about what I truly want to do.

Not with the entire rest of my life. That would be a silly and illogical choice to attempt to make right now. I can’t predict tomorrow. Hell, I can’t even predict the next hour. But what I can predict is my commitment to myself, to my health and to my happiness.

Wow, I’ve been writing a lot about health and happiness lately. It really interests me right now. It interests me how much we neglect our basic physiological needs in pursuit of higher achievements.

It interests me how we became so ingrained to always want and need to produce. It interests me to explore avenues that allow me to shuck that enculturation enough to find what I truly need at my absolute core.

It isn’t easy. And I can certainly be considered no more than an inexperienced novice in the arena. But the question is not about who is winning the race. The question is about who is taking the time to understand their inner drive throughout the entirety of that race.

Truly knowing yourself takes practice and dedication, just like any other area in which so many of us strive to become masters. Shouldn’t mastering yourself be your first priority?

Even athletes, who are sometimes held up as the pinnacle of our society, often lack the commitment to themselves that brings true happiness. It could be a large reason that we have such a high percentage of professional athletes with multiple legal charges and convictions on their record. We often act out when we feel uncomfortable with something within.

This is a lesson that many of us learned from a young age if we were ever bullied or picked on. “So and so is only lashing out at you because he feels uncomfortable with himself.”

But, what do we turn around and do to that kid who we perceive as having an inner dissonance? We punish. We use the eye for an eye technique, regardless of the fact that we know exactly where that will end up leaving us.

Gandhi told us so elegantly. It will only end with a world full of blind fools, stumbling over, around, and on top of each other. I don’t know about you but I enjoy my vision. I enjoy seeing the colors. But I often marvel at the skills and uplifting spirit of those who have lost their sight when I come into contact with them.

I can’t even begin to imagine what the world looks like to them. It’s fascinating! Sensory perceptions are possibly the most important components that contribute directly to our survival and enjoyment of life. Funny that we so often allow them to be overridden by our overdeveloped and domineering brains. Hmmm….


  1. There is a lot going on in the human head and there are so many decision to be made about what will be a priority, but making the decision isvr difficult and it takes a lot to come to an agreement on what to do within yourself. From studying yourself would be a better option anytime because when we fully know ourselves we will know our limits and from there we wouldn’t take much time in making decisions on other things because we will know if it suits us or not.

    1. I think what you’re getting at is this idea of intuition. When we truly know ourselves, it becomes easier to trust those “gut feelings,” which we also sometimes refer to as that intuitive sense! 

  2. What caught me so much about this post is how your thoughts really see the blind. I too think that it is not something that anyone would want to imagine. My teacher when I was in elementary told us that the worst deformity that a person can have is being blind because the person is shut from the beauty of the world. From the colours and the technology too. This is a great post worth sharing.

    1. I respectfully think your teacher missed the fact that beauty exists in many forms (not just visually). I used to work with visually-impaired students and they reminded me all the time that humans have five senses for a many very good reason! 

  3. Summer is a good time for self-exploration I agree and that’s one of the more challenging journeys we are faced with within the self. A commitment to the self indeed helps us on our path toward happiness. Good point about the pinnacle of society as there is a real root to the problems there. A great way to channel inner dialogue is to share it with others and you’ve done an excellent job with that here, I’m looking forward to seeing what else you come up with, great words!

    1. Thank you so much! Your feedback makes me feel more confident to keep sharing. I’ve also recently joined a men’s group that meets once a week to share openly and create accountability in our lives. I’ll certainly be sharing more soon! 

  4. I never thought of it that way. But it’s true, often times we want to feel like we’re doing something with our lives, we like to feel accomplished, but by doing that we’re forgetting that we’re humans too and we do need a break. Physical health is also connected with ones mental health and a lot of people don’t understand this. I really enjoyed having a look on what your visions are, there should be more people like you out there.  

    1. I have to remind myself of the importance of taking a break from time to time. Fortunately, I currently have work that is somewhat seasonal, so it naturally gives me a reminder at this time of year. Thanks for your kind words and thoughtful comment! 

  5. It is very good to see that you have given some very nice insight into your personal thoughts. I like the fact that you can tell us about spring and what it means to you. Actually, it means a lot to a lot of people. You have a very interesting thought if I may commend. I would like you to share them with us some more. Nice!

  6. Hello,

    I like your inner dialogue, it gives an interesting deep perspective on life. I think the most important question is who are we running the race for and why? 

     Is it to please ourselves or to have people be pleased with the accomplishments we achieved. I think there is a different meaning to life for each of us, and it is up to us to journey on that path of enlightenment to find our meaning to life, 
    to be complete and happy, And that takes the acceptance and discipline of oneself.

    1. I love and appreciate your comment here. I know what my answer to your question is now, but I can’t honestly say that I did when I wrote this piece three years ago. Experience teaches us a lot and helps us learn what gives our unique lives meaning! 

  7. I am in total agreement with you when you say here is enough for us to learn about ourselves before venturing into something else which could be harmful to us because we don’t understand ourselves well enough to know what we can take and which we cant take. Life is all about understanding things and understanding yourself should be the first thing we should try to do. We are too complex for ourselves so we need to always be in a constant relationship with ourselves.

    1. I like that idea: “constant relationship with ourselves.” It makes me realize how important it is to forgive ourselves too because we ARE always changing, adapting, and (hopefully) bettering ourselves. And we can learn a lot from our mistakes, as long as we can forgive ourselves for making a “mistake” and focus on how that makes us stronger, smarter, or more adaptable moving forward! 

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