How can one be reasonably monogamous in a world where everybody needs love?
How do we differentiate love from lust, from infatuation, from desire, from curiosity, or from simple attraction?
So many people on the planet.
How do we know when the one is THE ONE?
And how do we exhibit any reasonable level of self-trust?
“Well, you just know.” So I’ve heard.
But how do we stop ourselves from second-guessing?
Maybe in the practice of trusting our intuition?
I truly believe that if I truly believe that I can, then I will.
When did the second-guessing start?
Did I trust myself more at 10 years old than I do now?
At what point was the child’s brain corrupted by the adult world?
I want to find that level of self-trust again.
It is imperative to my sustained happiness.
Hi Tucker, Yes that is the question. When did we stop trusting? Is it after we have been hurt? How much experience do we need before we become cynical? I know for myself it was around 20 years of age that I became very cynical about love. I seemed to love or lust over the wrong type of man, who didn’t really have my best interests at heart. Later in life I found love but economical demands tore it apart. For survival I had to leave or sink forever.
For women we are taught to follow along. If you can’t just believe in how the man wants to steer his life and yours than you are treated as a traitor to your love. All you want is a say in your own life and when you are pushed away or condemned for having a brain it hurts and you lose trust.
It’s an interesting world. I enjoyed your post, thanks
Lily
Hi Lily! Thank you for the honesty in your comment. I’m currently going through another challenge of trusting that love does indeed exist. And your experience resonates with me because I feel like economical needs and demands are one of the biggest reasons why I’m currently transitioning out of this relationship. One thing that came through me when I was talking to someone recently is this idea: “Love IS, but it is also MADE.”
What do you think of that idea?
I love this post. It is so true to the human story. I believe that highest trust we should strive for is in learning to trust our intuition. There is a part of us that knows what is right for us in that moment of decision. I also think that if we decide and later look back on it as a bad decision, it might not have been a bad decision. It might have been what we needed at the time to learn. So then, we can just relax, listen to ourselves and know that what we choose now works ultimately for our good.
Hi JJ!
Thank you for such a kind comment! This is something that I feel I’ve forgotten a bit in recent years and I actually came back to find this post, which I had written quite some time ago. I definitely have many examples of things I thought were bad decisions at the time that turned out to be great lessons once I was able to find a little more perspective.
What, if anything, helps you remind yourself that your intuition will always lead you to decisions that are ultimately for your good?
Love is a construct with many meanings. What type of LOVE… for many, one person, nature, most of all love for the self, your own personal creative life. The label LOVE, is just that… but what is felt in the heart body, the emotional gut body, the cellular body… Do you feel the frequencies and swirls, complex yet simple? Harmony is the sound vibration of intuition. What ever tonal sounds are omitted create ripples of vibrations, frequencies, invisible parts of matter. The world is a wild, scary, magical place filled with just that, endless amounts of space. I like to visualize how one tiny atom is made up of 99% space, this concept allows me to think about how much room there is for the endless possibilities, it helps me breathe… I Say, Trust in the Space, the vibes your physical body picks up. What is nature showing you, teaching you, holding inside of you? A Buddhist practice I find helpful is to label thoughts as thinking, and set them aside, the truth will be revealed. To simply acknowledge worry/doubt/fear as a mental alert button and if the need to tend to these cues is life or death one wouldn’t even question it, Right? So asking self, “hey self, is this really necessary to consume my time with at this moment, am I actually solving anything?” This type of training sets narratives aside and allows room for being in the present moment.
My personal life experience has taught me that being in-touch with my body, being endlessly grateful for all that my body can do and has done for me, turning to nature, watching animals and the land steers my thoughts towards an abundance mind set. I have practiced showing up and being kind. Noticing when I am judging someone or something for the benefit of judgement or projecting my self doubts onto someone… Noticing the difference of what makes a thought worth exploring or if it is another drama story-line… I guess also just understanding how fast life is. We all will eventually expire and I personally choose to feel joy, to participate and to laugh super hard at myself.